"Are you sure that your anger and resentment is really against Zak? That you resent that he got between Cassie's legs and eventually married her? That you're transferring it all onto Cassie, who doesn't really deserve it?" The problem Gus," said Ged with a resigned air, "is that she went with Zak and did not talk to me first."If I knew why she did that, I could make proper decisions, but she keeps telling me she doesn't know why. I don't know whether to believe her or not. It's just gone too far, Gus."Gus went on doggedly. "What you're saying is that the only thing separating you is that she broke a promise and suffered the consequences."She broke it in extreme circumstances – did you envisage the evil intent and this sort of deception engineered by Zak when you made her promise that? You told her to distrust the press; but this was carefully planned, there was other evidence as well, Zak saw to that. She is a victim like you."You were her lover, and her fiancé. What does a loving. The first thing most of you will say is that I did it to myself. Here I was, a guy with very little (almost no) sexual experience marrying a woman with, shall we say, a history. I thought that life would be sex, sex, sex... but of course it wasn't. After a few years, my mother gave up asking when she would get grandc***dren and sex became a monthly occurrence like paying the mortgage or washing the car. Forget about oral (twice ever, both times she was drunk) or anything other than missionary. I could have had an affair, but I've never had success with the ladies and I didn't want to go so far as to cheat on Sharon. Instead, I started fantasizing about the guys she had been with and what she did with them. I would jerk off picturing her giving her body like a whore to one of her ex-boyfriends or at a party. By now you're thinking that something must be wrong with me to fantasize about my wife with other guys. I guess I've always been more of a voyeur than a doer and my wife was more.
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